


Show Me the Stars

by captaincastle



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M, First Time, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Mutual Pining, Secret Crush, Slow Burn, Vaginal Fingering, Vaginal Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-06
Updated: 2020-04-06
Packaged: 2021-03-02 04:07:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 16,058
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23518918
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/captaincastle/pseuds/captaincastle
Summary: You're a mechanic given a new assignment - your crush Poe Dameron's ship.
Relationships: Poe Dameron/Reader, Poe Dameron/You
Comments: 8
Kudos: 105





	Show Me the Stars

You’re scared to fly. You prefer your feet to be on the ground. That’s the natural order of things. There’s never been a time where you’ve been on a ship where you weren’t apprehensive or scared. You thought maybe it would help if you understood more about how things worked with flying, but when that didn’t click for you, the next step was learning about the machines themselves. So that’s what you do. You know just about everything there is to know about how ships work, but you have no desire to fly one on your own, and you still don’t like being out in space.

As a kid, this wasn’t much of an issue. You stayed grounded. But when the First Order came in and took your family from you, you joined the Resistance. Offering your services as a mechanic and maintenance worker.

Your job has its challenges, but there are days when it’s rather easy. Luckily a good portion of the pilots know as much if not more than you, and they take good care of their equipment. Some days your job is as simple as giving the ships a once over and maybe cleaning up some of the carbon scoring that’s gunked up.

You work with a team, and you’ve just been given a new assignment. The war is ending. At first it seems strange to get a new assignment so close to the end, but it’s an assignment you’ve been wanting for a long time.

Your group has been assigned to the X-Wing squadron. When you were given these orders, you felt your stomach drop and your heart leap at the same time.

That’s where he is.

Poe Dameron.

The absolute love of your life that you’ve spoken to maybe twice in your time with the Resistance.

He has a reputation of being a playboy, but that’s not something you’ve ever paid much attention to. All you see in him is the warmth of his smile. The passion in his eyes. You’ve heard him when he gets riled up about something, he cares so much about the Resistance. He won’t back down.

You’ve also noticed his wonderful curls, and the dark stubble covered jaw. The way his smile catches in the sunlight. His thick thighs and you blush when you catch yourself staring at his ass.

You know most people are in love with him. You’re one in a crowd. And despite his reputation, you’ve never actually seen what people are talking about? Maybe you’re just not around him enough to see the lovers he takes, but maybe you’ll get that chance to see, or to be one.

You know you don’t want to just be a notch in his belt, another lover that passes by to someone new. But you’re not ready to see him flirt with other members of your team.

You’re getting ahead of yourself. You’ve only just been given this assignment.

You are to report to the X-Wing hanger of the base first thing in the morning. This is guaranteed a chance to see Poe on a more regular basis, that’s one thing that’s certain. Whether or not you’ll talk to him is another story.

“What are you thinking about over there Ms. Deep in Thought?” your roommate, Corelle’s voice interrupts your thinking. You’ve been lying on your bed looking up at the ceiling for too long.

“Oh, nothing,” you laugh sheepishly, sitting up. You sit up too fast and the blood goes to your head, you feel a slight twinge of a headache. That’s not what you need right now.

“I know that look,” Corelle laughs. “When are you gonna tell me who he is?”

You bite your lower lip. Corelle has the biggest mouth on this base. She’s a wonderful friend, but you cannot tell her about your crush on Poe. Or she’ll tell him for you.

Maybe that wouldn’t be a bad idea, but if he doesn’t like you back then it would be embarrassing.

“I won’t tell!” you laugh brushing her off. You know she means no harm, but you’ve gotten good at avoiding her questions. You’d played all the games; she’s named everyone on this base. But since you were laughing the whole time anyways, you were able to play off when she asked if it was Poe. That was ages ago now. You’re in it deeper than you were then. If she asked again you might not be able to hide it.

You haven’t felt like this since you were a young girl with a crush back on your home world, before all this began.

“Seriously, though what’s wrong?” she asks. “You look stressed.”

“Well you know we got that new assignment?” you’re choosing your words carefully.

“Is he gonna be there?” she sits up on her bed asking excitedly.

“I didn’t say that!” you laugh, feeling flustered. This is too close to comfort. “It’s just jitters I think before a new job. There’s talk the war is almost over and I don’t want to mess this up so close to the end.”

“He’s there. And I’m gonna find out who he is,” she points and smiles. You roll your eyes and flop back down on your bed to hide under your covers.

“I’ll never tell,” you laugh.

“Hey,” she says, her voice serious. “I understand the jitters. It’ll be fine. Hopefully this will all be over soon, and you can settle down with this mystery man.”

You’re not lying, it is jitters for working in a new part of the base. Every piece of the puzzle in the Resistance is important for the cause. You don’t want to be a reason for any losses. Not now, so close to the end.

Those jitters keep you up most of the night. You lay awake staring at the ceiling. Your roommate sound asleep, not a care in the world. You admire her strength, she’d say the same about you, but you don’t feel strong right now.

Your previous assignment was a part of the Y-Wing squadron. Each mechanic was assigned to a group of Y-Wings. You know how this works. You pray to be assigned to Poe’s ship; you just have to be assigned to him! You got to be close with the pilots in the Y-Wing squadron. There’s not as many of them now. That’s why you’re being transferred to the X-Wings. Which is another thing on your mind. No one prepared you for the grief that would come with losing pilots, your friends. You’re not a solider. You joined the cause to fight back for what you lost, who you lost. You didn’t think about losing anyone else. And that thought haunts you. Poe is the best pilot out there, he’s brave. Maybe too brave. He gets himself in dangerous situations, and you worry about him. He’s not yours to worry about, but you worry about them all every time they go up.

You hate flying.

But it certainly won’t stop you from doing your job and making sure those who fly are safe. You’re known among your team to take the longest to do routine checks. Everything needs to run right so the pilot can be as safe as possible.

Luckily for you, your attention to detail and care for ships gets you what you want.

That morning in the main hangar, your team leader is handing out assignments. He calls your last name, and simply says, “You get Dameron,” and he points over in the direction of Poe’s black X-Wing.

You try not to react in front of your team, you just nod and say, “Yes, sir.” But inside your blood is pounding and your ears are ringing. You’re exhausted from your lack of sleep, and now you feel dizzy with excitement over this assignment. You smile inwardly at hearing some buzz through the team when Poe’s ship is assigned to you. But with it comes a weight, you know you have a job to do and it’s not one you take lightly. Poe is the best, and he deserves the best from you, and that’s what you’re gonna give.

And just hope he notices you in the process. Is that so wrong?

When the team disperses, you head straight for Poe’s X-Wing. It feels like an extension of him, and there’s almost a thrill when you approach. You place a hand on the cool metal with reverence. You don’t know how someone could willingly get inside this thing. Never mind being shot at. And you see blaster marks covering this ship. Scarring on an old worn machine. Some are old, some are new.

You begin to familiarize yourself with the ship and the equipment. Structurally it’s different than the Y-Wings, but it’s similar enough you can figure it out. You would like to talk to Poe about his ship though and get any specifics you need to know.

From the looks of things, he keeps things tidy. Other than the blaster burns and some carbon scoring from a recent flight, it’s clean. All that’s left for you to do is tighten some bolts and scrub out some of carbon scoring.

Your work for the day is pretty much done, but you haven’t seen Poe yet. Looking around you’ve seen most of the other pilots’ trickle in and checking things over. When there’s not a battle going on, it’s always encouraged to act as though one could happen any moment. Maintenance and routine checks are common. Keeps people busy during the in between moments.

Since Poe is nowhere to be found, you’re making yourself at home on his X-Wing. You’re on top of it now, cleaning the window. From your perch, you can see when he walks in. Your stomach drops and your heart starts to pound in your ears. What do you do? Do you just keep scrubbing and act cool? Or should you get down to greet him??

Instead you do none of those things and freeze, staring at him as he walks in the main hanger door. BB-8 is rolling along at his heels. Poe has an easy smile on his face, and he waves a greeting at some fellow pilots he passes. As he gets closer, he sees you, and you make quick to get back to work. You don’t want to look like you were staring.

“Hey!” you hear a voice call down to you. He’s talking to you, you’re panicking.

You lean over a little to see him standing on the ground below. His brows are knitted together, but he’s not angry.

“You didn’t have to do that!” he points up to you cleaning the window. BB-8 beeps beside him. Poe looks down and says something, but you don’t catch it. You’re focusing on climbing down and not falling on your face.

You manage to hop down the ladder with relative ease, even though he was watching. You inwardly groan because this jumpsuit of yours is not exactly flattering.

When you finally are face to face with him, it’s like a gut punch. His eyes are so big and gentle. His curls are a wonderful mess. You have to speak before he suspects something.

“It’s my job,” you tell him, “to clean the windows. And do maintenance.” You slap the rag over your shoulder, and in the process, water drops fling from it and land on his face, and the rag hits your shoulder with a loud wet slop. This is not going well. “I’m so sorry!” you gasp watching him blink rapidly from the shock of water in his eye. You can feel your face get hot, but he only smiles, a little chuckle escapes his lips.

“It’s just water,” he shrugs and wipes his face dry with his sleeve. “Thank you,” he says then, “for cleaning the window.” Then he says your name, which you weren’t sure if he even remembered. “That is your name, right?” he winces afraid to be wrong.

“Yeah,” you smile, “it is.”

“I’m Poe,” he sticks out his hand and you shake it even though your hands are wet and greasy.

“I know,” you smile back. “I’m your new mechanic. I’ve been assigned to help you work maintenance on your ship.”

He nods a quick nod; he’s listening while he reaches for the ladder to climb in the cockpit. He doesn’t seem to notice that his hand is now covered in some black grease.

“I’m glad to have the help!” he calls down to you. “I know my ship, but I’m not a great mechanic. There’s always more to learn.” You watch him nervously as he inspects his ship. “Wow, these windows look fantastic!” he calls down to you. “What else did you do??” he leans over the edge of the cockpit, looking down at you. You smile when you see his smile in your direction. He runs a hand through his curls, grinning.

You tell him, and then ask him some more detailed questions about the ship. For being this hotshot pilot, everyone talks about - he’s very gracious about your helping him. He even apologizes for arriving late and not helping you with some of the work himself.

That night you go back to your room with a smile on your face that you couldn’t hide if you tried.

“So,” Corelle grins, seeing you walk in. “I should’ve known it was Poe.” She shakes her head, but she’s smiling.

“It’s not- I didn’t-” you start but she stops you by holding her hand up.

“Don’t deny it, I saw you today at his X-Wing. You were positively glowing.”

“That bad?” you whine and flop down on your bed. You realize now how exhausted you are from the day. You got very little sleep last night, and today with all the Poe excitement, you’re beat.

“Ohh yeah,” she laughs. “But I wouldn’t call it bad? It was sweet. He was responding to you. I saw his smile too.”

“Yeah?” you ask lifting your head up from your bed to look her way. “You’re not just saying that to make me feel better, are you? He smiles at everyone.”

“Not like he did at you today,” she says in a singsong voice. “I saw the way he raked his hand through those beautiful curls! And how lucky are you that you got assigned to his ship huh?? Destiny wants you together.”

“Promise me that you won’t say anything, please?”

“Don’t worry!”

From anyone else, that would do little to ease worry, but from her, you know you’re safe. She’s not who you have to worry about now, it’s yourself. You’re not even sure what to do now.

There’s no time for love in this fight.

“What did you say?”

“There isn’t time for love in this fight,” you sigh. “What chance do I have here?”

“Stop right there. You’re wrong. This is exactly the time for love. That’s what we’re fighting for isn’t it? We all need something good, a reason to fight for. If you’re worried about him being too reckless up there, give him a reason to want to come back home.”

“Well then what do I do?”

“You have to tell him.”

You don’t tell him. You like things the way they are. You like greeting him in the mornings and helping him with the ship. You like hearing him tell stories and making you laugh. You like the way his dimples pop when he laughs at BB-8. He’s nice to you, warm. You don’t want to lose it.

You like this attention.

“Yes, but it could be better,” you can hear Corelle say. “You like the attention but you’re not happy.”

And you hate to admit that she’s right. You’re full of an ache. He’s not yours. Yes, you have formed quite a friendship. You even have a couple inside jokes, and he smiles at you from across the room. But you’re not his.

When he touches your arm or your shoulder, your insides quiver. When he gives you a little wink, you feel a rush of warmth to you face.

But when you’ve seen him flirt with others, you feel a pang of jealousy. You go back to your room and your roommate has to console your aching heart.

“Promise me you’ll say something the next time you see him. You’ve been like this for weeks now. When will you see him again?”

“Tomorrow.”

He’s going on a recon mission. He’d been chosen because of his stealth flying skills. In and out is what he said.

You ran diagnostics most of the day, making sure the tank was full of fuel and every little nut and bolt is screwed down tight. Everything is clean and ready. You’re there early before he is, giving everything a once over just to be sure.

“There she is!” you hear Poe’s voice loud and clear through the hanger. Of course, he’s a morning person. “Everything ready to go?”

You turn to see him in his orange flight suit, black helmet in his hand. BB-8 is close behind.

“All ready! Are you ready?” you ask him. He puts on his helmet and gives you a confident nod, he scrunches his nose up with the smile he gives. He starts to climb the ladder into the cockpit, but you stop him. “Poe?”

His head whips around at the sound of concern in your voice.

“Be careful?”

He gives a little wink in response and calls down, “I will!”

And before you know it, he’s off. All you can do now is stand back and watch the ship roar to life and take off. Your eyes follow it up into the sky as best you can, and soon he’s nothing more than a twinkle disappearing into the far reaches of space.

Thanks to lightspeed, if everything goes well, he’ll be back in a couple hours. So, you busy yourself with other work in the meantime. For now, that’s making sure everything is ready for his return.

You’re working up a sweat moving around making sure everything is perfect. Your nerves have your stomach in knots, you don’t even realize how hungry you are.

“Take a break,” your supervisor calls in your direction, “I wouldn’t worry about him. He’s the best pilot there is.”

For a beat you think, does your supervisor know about your crush?

“I know you’ve lost pilots before, none of it was your fault. You’re the best at what you do. That’s why we put you with Dameron. Go get something to eat.”

You nod, wiping your greasy hands on your jumpsuit. Food would be good, something to settle your stomach.

It’s not regular eating hours, but the cantina still has people getting meals. Not everyone gets to keep normal hours under these circumstances.

Feeling hungry now, you don’t care what it is you eat. You just go for the first meal option and take your seat.

It’s not til you take a bite do you remember this was a meal you’d shared with Poe before. It was a couple weeks back, and you’d been working hard on the ship. There was a part of the wing that wasn’t working the way it should. It was a tedious task and the two of you spent most of the day working on it. Really it was just Poe handing you tools and holding things steady for you and asking questions of what it was exactly you were doing so he could learn.

At one point he’d taken a break to get you both food, and he brought it back to you. You’d shared the meal together while sitting on top of the X-Wing.

“I’m sorry this tastes terrible,” he had laughed, “I just grabbed the first thing I saw.”

“I didn’t want to say anything but no this isn’t good,” you had laughed back.

You’ll never forget his smile after you laughed. But somehow you forgot this food didn’t taste good and you got it again, but the memory was sweet enough to compensate.

You finish the meal quickly, not wanting to miss him coming back. You can tell pilots from the mission are returning, because you see a group of people heading in the direction of the main hangar. Taking that as your cue, you toss your trash and exit the cantina.

You spot Poe’s X-Wing in the hangar right away, and relief washes over you. He’s safe. From a distance, you can see him climbing out of the ship. You can see him looking around, he’s looking for someone. Other pilots pass him by and give him a pat on the back, he smiles politely, but then that look of concern is back on his brow while he’s scanning the crowd.

He’s looking for you.

You only know because when he makes eye contact with you, his face lights up, and he starts to jog in your direction. He calls your name and pulls you into his arms for a massive hug. It’s so sudden it jostles you. His vest is pressing hard into your chest and he smears sweat from his face onto your cheek. His arms squeeze you so tight it almost hurts, but this is the best moment of your life, what is pain??

Burying your face in the crook of his neck, you breathe deeply. His flight suit is bunching up in your fists as you squeeze him back.

“You really are my good luck charm,” he says pulling away, smile still on his face. “I don’t know what it is that you’ve done but she flies better than she has in a long time.”

“It’s just a machine,” you shrug, “I think it has everything to do with the pilot.” You lightly bump his chest with your fist. “I’m glad you’re back safe.”

You don’t know at the time, but what you said hit Poe in the gut like a speeder crashing into a wall.

“I think it has everything to do with you,” his voice is quiet, uncharacteristically so. He holds your gaze for a moment.

“I’m happy to help!” you reply, not sure what he’s talking about. He blinks rapidly when you speak, as if you just pulled him out of a deep thought.

“I have to go to a debriefing, but later there’s something we need to fix,” he nods his head towards the ship. You nod in agreement. You’ve gotten more comfortable around him, but your insides still jump at the thought of getting to be with him again. And your head is still reeling from that hug.

Right now, there is nothing for you to do until he gets done. It will have to be later, because the ship is too hot to work on. You can already see some places that need to be patched up. No matter how good a pilot he is, small debris can cause big damage.

“Just come find me when you’re done!” you tell him.

Heading back to your room, a friend passes by with a smile. It’s a knowing smile that stops you in your tracks. She tugs on your sleeve of your work jumpsuit.

“What did you say to him?” she asks with a whisper.

“What?” you’re confused, “Nothing out of the ordinary? Why?”

“He gave you the look as you were walking away.”

“What look?” you feel your face heating up, and your voice shakes a little.

“He wanted you to turn around and look at him,” she pats you on the back and walks on by. Your knees feel weak and you feel lightheaded. Pilots and mechanics and all sorts of people are bustling past you, celebrating the success over the mission and getting ready for the next one. Your feet are frozen to the ground, as your friend walks on by.

You turn around, but Poe is already gone. Headed towards the command center to give his debriefing of the information during his recon flight.

The walk back to your quarters has your mind replaying the hug over and over. His sweat has dried now on your cheek, but it’s a memory you’ll cling to forever. He wanted to see you; he was looking for you. You haven’t been hugged like that in a long time. Now you know what it feels like to be in his arms, if not for just a brief moment in time.

Reaching your room, you punch in the keycode on the door and it opens with a hiss. Much to your disappointment, Corelle isn’t in. You have so much to tell her, but you guess it can wait.

You feel an anxious energy, you wish you had something to occupy your mind. On base, there is always something to be done. Therefore, people’s quarters are relatively bare. Some clothes and essentials and a bed. That’s all you need. If something happens, you have to be ready to leave at a moment’s notice.

With a sigh you sit on your bed, propping your leg up on your knee, you start to untie your boot when you hear a gentle knock on the door.

“Corelle,” you laugh, “the code number never changes!” you get up and push the door open expecting your roommate. Only to be greeted with your favorite pair of brown eyes in the galaxy.

“Hi.” 

“Hi!” you answer back, a little surprised to see his face.

“You ready to go? I can come back?” he jerks his thumb over his shoulder.

“No, no! I’m ready just give me one second!” Walking back over to your bed you sit down to retie your boot while trying to remain calm that Poe Dameron is standing in your room. “Did the briefing go ok?” you ask trying to make conversation.

“General wants me to go back tomorrow. First thing.”

“Go back?” you ask standing up. No, no. “You just got back!”

“Today was recon. Tomorrow is a course of action. It’s simple enough.”

“Is it dangerous?”

“It’s always dangerous,” he shrugs with one shoulder. There’s a glint in his eye, he seems to like the thrill. “You ready?”

“Ready,” you nod and follow him out of your room. As you’re leaving, Corelle walks by and gives you a look. You shake your head ‘no’ signaling her not to do anything.

“Who’s that?” Poe asks after you’re out of earshot.

“My roommate,” you huff out a laugh. “Seriously Poe, should I be worried about you?”

“About me and your roommate?” he’s teasing, “nah. She’s not my type.”

“Poe, I mean it.”

“So do I,” he shrugs again.

“Poe!” you grab his arm and stop him in the hall. “I’m serious. How dangerous is this? I can’t- “

“Can’t what?” his hand reaches for your hand on his sleeve. The touch of his skin is warm.

“I can’t lose another one, I just can’t. Not you.” A small tear falls down your cheek, and with a gentle finger he sweeps it away.

“You’re not going to lose me.”

By now you’ve reached the hangar, and the ship has cooled enough to work on it. Immediately can see a hole on one of the wings. It’s an easy fix but you’ll have to rewire some things.

“That’s why I need you,” he points to the hole. “I don’t know how to rewire that. I’m here to help however you need.”

“I’ll need BB-8 to help me on this one. And some caf. Lots of caf.”

Poe nods and whistles. You hear BB-8 beep and roll in your direction.

“You help her, ok? Do whatever she says. I’ll be right back.”

BB-8 looks from Poe to you, then rolls up towards you. BB-8 makes a little beep, and you assume that means it’s alright. You grab your tools and BB-8 shines a light on the hole so you both can see the damage.

Poe comes back from the cantina with two metal cups of caf in his hands.

“It’s not very hot I’m afraid,” he says handing you a cup. Your fingers touch his and the warmth from his skin will always send shivers down your spine.

“It’s alright, I just need the caffeine.”

Poe takes a sip of his, and he frowns in distaste. He likes it hot. He smacks his lips and without a word, he holds the caf cup over to BB-8. To which then BB-8 sticks out an arm with a little flame on the it under Poe’s cup. You smile to see them so in sync. At the same time the flame extinguishes, and Poe brings the mug back to his lips. That’s not the first time they have done that.

“I could never do what you do,” Poe remarks leaning against the wing. He sips his caf watching you and BB-8 reconnect and meld wires together. “I know a little, just enough to get by. But not like that.” He motions towards the hole.

“It just takes practice. I could never do what you do,” you mimic him and nod your head in the direction of the ship’s cabin.

“Takes practice for that too. I grew up flying with my mom. I think I was 6 years old when I started learning?”

“So, you weren’t ever scared?” you put down the tool and lift your safety goggles to look at him.

“If I was, I don’t remember. But I’ll tell you a secret, I’m always a little scared before I go up.”

“Every time?”

“Every time,” he nods.

“That’s why I don’t want to fly. I’m too scared,” you admit. “I prefer to be on the ground.”

“Don’t you want to see the stars?” he asks, leaning forward a little. There’s no scoff in his tone, he isn’t bothered you don’t like to fly. “I’d like to show you the stars sometime.”

“I don’t mind looking from here,” you blush, his flirting is becoming a little more direct. Is this really happening?

“You know, you’d be in good hands. I’ll take care of you,” he sips his caf again. Is he talking about actual flight or something else?

“Are you making fun of me?” you laugh.

“I’m not I swear!” he laughs back. “If you want me to take you up there sometime, I’d be happy to that’s all. I could ease some of that fear you carry.”

“Ok,” you let out a shuddery breath, “when you come back from this next mission, I’ll let you take me up.”

His grin starts small and grows wide. “Alright!”

You shake your head with a laugh and put your goggles back on. You’re attaching the last wire when it shocks your fingertip. You hiss and pull your hand back and examine it. There’s a big red welp on the tip of your pointer finger. It stings. Wincing, you shake your hand, but then pull it back to your body to put pressure on it.

“Here,” Poe puts down his cup. “Let me see.”

You wince again sticking your hand out to his. He gingerly takes your hand in his and rubs his thumb over the welp.

“Ow!” you jerk back, but he only tightens his grip. His skin is so smooth, and you want to be mad at him, but you can’t because he’s holding your hand.

“Sorry,” he whispers back. He’s looking intently at your fingertip; his lashes look so beautiful, and you see a long crease run up the length of his forehead. Then in an unexpected move, he brings your hand to his mouth and he closes his lips around your finger. He soothes the burn with his tongue and the way he’s looking at you sends a jolt to your belly.

He pulls your finger from his lips with a slight pop, and you’re completely stunned. His grin is slight, but devilish.

“I want you down here tomorrow before we leave. I need to see my good luck charm before I go,” there’s that smile again. One hand is still holding your injured one, his spit is beginning to dry in the cool night air on your finger. His other hand reaches up and tucks a fallen lock of hair back behind your ear. If you didn’t know any better, he was about to kiss you. You teeter backwards when you feel his thumb press on your pulse point on your wrist, and you bump your caf cup onto the floor. It falls with a loud clang, and the caf gets everywhere.

You pull from his grasp, the caf cup offering you an out. Not that you want to be out of his touch, but the way he’s looking at you is making your head spin. Surely your face must be on fire and he can see that he sparked the flame. His gaze is only further stoking the fire.

The caffeine and the adrenaline in your system has your head spinning and you barely remember the walk back to your room.

He’d casually winked and gave you a goodnight, acting as though he didn’t just suck on your finger and give you ideas of where else you’d like to feel his mouth. 

“He’s just nervous before the mission tomorrow,” you tell Corelle. You’re still in shock, that has to be it right? He’s just nervous because he said he got nervous to fly and maybe he just flirts when he’s nervous? Right?

“Whoa,” Corelle laughs, “calm down!”

“I can’t calm down,” you sigh, pacing the floor of your small shared room.

“He obviously likes you. I mean come on, it’s right there plain as day! You have to tell him how you feel tomorrow.”

“Is this really happening?”

“He might be nervous before the mission, but did you ever think he’s trying to tell you how he feels before he leaves?”

“He sure has a funny way of doing it,” you flush, your finger still burns – not from the actual burn, but the burn from his lips.

“You’re not doing any better! Just go up to him and give him a big wet kiss before he leaves.”

“Oh, I am not doing that!”

“Why not? It’ll send the message loud and clear!”

“That’s not exactly how I want my first kiss to go…” you admit.

“It’s the perfect time- wait you mean your first one ever?” she asks. You shrug, you’re embarrassed. “Well then that’s absolutely the perfect time!!”

You bury your face in your hands with a sigh. This is not happening.

It’s another night of little sleep. Most of it’s due to caffeine, it’s been an exciting and overwhelming day to say the least.

When your eyes open in the morning, anxiety is pulling at your mind. Your stomach turns and your hands feel clammy. All throughout the night when you should’ve been asleep, you thought about what you’d like to say to him. You’re not sure you’ll have the guts to. You went over and over the argument in your mind, that he’s risking his life for the cause, and you can barely get out a few simple words.

The hallways to the hangar are already bustling this early. They all have a job to do. Your pulse is pounding in your ears, the energy is high on days like today, multiple emotions fill everyone’s minds. You have an added stress and you don’t know what to do about it. Well, you know what to do, but you’re afraid to do it.

You’re early, earlier than Poe. You assume he’s getting his orders; you don’t see any other pilots around yet in the hangar either.

You feel like you’re going to be sick, a cold sweat makes your skin feel clammy. You jump sky high when Corelle comes up behind you.

“Well??” she asks.

“Well what?” you shake your head and try to calm yourself down. You run your diagnostics while she follows you around. You already double checked everything last night, so this morning is just to run through one more time.

“Did you tell him???”

“No, he’s not even here yet. And what am I supposed to say? ‘Hi Poe, I’m in love with you! Be safe on your mission!’”

No sooner had the words left your lips did you hear the familiar rolling sound of BB-8. You glance down in horror to see the droid, he turns his little head, he obviously heard you.

“BB-8, please don’t- “you panic.

“’BB-8 please don’t’ what?” you hear Poe’s voice clear through all the chaos.

“Don’t- let anything happen to you!” you manage to get out. BB-8 beeps up at Poe, you don’t understand what the droid says. Poe’s eyebrows crease, he only nods at his droid companion.

“I’ll be fine,” he touches your arm. “Everything looking good?”

“You’re all ready to go!” you give him the confirmation. With that he starts to climb up the ladder to the cockpit. Your heart is beating so loud in your ears, you gotta tell him now. You could tell him when he comes back, but what if he doesn’t come back? “Poe, I-“ you have to yell now because the engines are powering up, and it’s loud. “Be careful!” you shout, and he gives you a little salute before the hatch slides closed.

It was all so loud, then comes the quiet after the ships all make the jump to lightspeed. There’s ringing in your ears from regret in the deafening silence. Tears begin to fall, and you cover your face with your hand.

“What’s wrong?” you hear a kind voice behind you. You sniffle and turn to see General Organa standing behind you, she places a gentle hand on your shoulder.

You swallow, trying to collect yourself. You’ve only spoken with her a few times, it’s always an honor.

“I’m in love with him,” your voice breaks. “And I didn’t even get to tell him. I had every opportunity.”

“He knows,” she pats your back with a smile, she speaks from experience. “I saw the way he looked at you. I know him well, and I know that look.”

You sniffle again, hoping she’s right.

“He’s also told me a lot about you. Says you’re the best mechanic he’s ever seen.”

“He told you about me?” your cheeks warm and she chuckles softly.

“You’ll have your hands full with that one, but he’s a good man. One of the best.” She knows more than she says, but you can tell from her tone that he cares for you too.

“How do you love someone who risks his life? Did you not worry?”

“I always worried. You must know why he’s in this fight. What he’s fighting for.”

Feeling comforted by her words, you thank her and take your leave. Going to the cantina, you meet up with other mechanics and others who must wait now for the pilots and ground fighters to return. There’s light chit-chat throughout the cantina, some people find it easier to talk and laugh to push past their obvious nerves. It’s a strange feeling, knowing you’re in the fight but you’re here, not out there doing it. You have no control over what happens, but you’ve done the best you can, and your role is still important.

You think back to when you first met Poe officially. It felt like ages ago when you were a new recruit. Your emotions still raw from losing your family to the First Order. You were among an early group in the Resistance. Poe and General Organa were there to greet everyone. You remember shaking Poe’s hand, and from then on, your crush had blossomed.

It seems like a lifetime ago, when you were just meeting him. Now you’re almost on the verge of tears again at the thought of losing him.

The rest of the day and the next are agony. Waiting for him and everyone to come back, just hoping everyone is safe – and knowing not everyone will return home.

Since your job is mechanics and maintenance, you’re not involved with a lot of the intel being shared. You only hear through others what’s going on. Normally you don’t particularly care, you have your job and that’s that. But right now, you’d do anything to know what’s going on and if Poe is safe. If this mission is as dangerous as you’ve heard, you want your anxieties eased. 

The command center is in contact with the pilots, but you don’t have the clearance to go in. And your reasons are personal, not professional.

It’s been a few days now, and you find yourself in the cantina often. It’s the best place to glean information. Poe’s name has come up a few times, which you’ll take – it’s an indication he’s alive.

From what you’ve gathered, they will be returning to base this afternoon.

The last few days have gone by so slowly, especially with nothing to do. Then that afternoon comes, and things seem more accelerated. X-Wing and Y-Wing squadrons come in, then the ground troop transports. It’s an obvious victory because everyone is celebrating.

But in the chaos, you still haven’t seen Poe. You don’t see his X-Wing anywhere in the hangar. There’s a considerable number of them gone, killed in action. You feel tears prick up in your eyes, where is he?? There’s cheering and laughing all around you, but you won’t join in until you find him.

Through the hangar you can see outside the base, and several ships have landed there. Through the crowd of people and ships, you can see the familiar orange painted X-Wing you know like the back of your hand.

Running outside, you can see Poe climbing out of the ship down the ladder. Tears fall down your cheeks freely now, he’s back. You haven’t missed your chance.

He’s still a bit of a distance away, but through the crowd he sees you. His smile splits his face and he takes off in a run towards you. The tears keep falling and your vision is blurry, but it’s enough to see him run to you.

When he reaches you, he cups your face in his hands and kisses you deeply. One hand holds your face, then he wraps his other arm around cupping the back of your head. His chest his heaving as his lips move with yours. You’re still crying hugging him to you. Your fingers weave into his sweaty curls and he pulls back for air.

“Hi,” he whispers, chest still heaving.

“Hi,” you sniffle, still running your fingers through his hair. “Poe, listen I need to tell you-“

“I know,” he smiles, then laughs, “I know.” He presses a few more kisses to your lips then to your cheek. “BB-8 told me.”

You shake your head and look down at the little droid who is ‘hiding’ behind Poe’s leg.

“And I heard you,” his thumb rubs across your cheek.

Your cheeks warm and you avert your gaze.

“Hey,” he ducks his head, so you’ll look at him. “I feel the same about you, ya know.”

“You love me?” the words are caught in your throat.

“I do,” he laughs as if he can’t believe he’s finally getting to say it out loud, “I love you. I have for awhile now,” he smiles and averts his gaze for a beat, raking his hand through his curls. Is that shyness in his smile you see?

You don’t waste the opportunity to kiss him again. Your hands find his cheeks and you could die from finally getting to feel his stubble under your fingertips.

“I’m so glad you’re back safe,” you sigh, hugging him to you after the kiss. You’re not sure how long you’ve been in each other’s embrace, but you don’t care.

“It’s all because of you,” he murmurs in your ear, there’s a smile in his voice.

“I didn’t do anything different with the ship?”

“It has nothing to do with the ship,” he says pulling back to look at you, “it has everything to do with you. I needed to get back here to you.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah,” he kisses your cheek. “I need to go to the briefing, but I’ll be right back ok? Wait, how about you just come with me?”

“I thought I didn’t have the clearance for that?”

“Who said that?” his eyebrows crease, “you’re coming with.” He sticks out his hand and you take it. His fingers interlock with yours, and he pulls his hand up to kiss the back of your hand. “I need my good luck charm with me.”

He leads you by the hand to the command center. You’ve only been in here once or twice, you can’t remember. The leaders of the Resistance are standing around the circle in the middle of the room. General Organa is nearby, and when she sees your hand in Poe’s, she gives you a little wink.

It overwhelms you in the best way that Poe has just decided he wants to be seen with you. He doesn’t make a show of it, but he doesn’t hide when he presses a kiss to your cheek before leaving you to join the others in the middle of the room. You sit down not far behind him and listen.

You don’t understand most of what he says as far as technical battle things are concerned, but it doesn’t matter to you now. Your lips are tingling from the many kisses he’s already given you. And you have never liked the color orange as much as you do right now. His shoulders look so broad, and even though not many people look good in those orange flight suits, it cannot hide that he has a wonderful ass.

After the meeting is over and the crowd begins to mingle, Poe turns to find you. You’re quick to grab his hand again and lean onto his shoulder.

“Wanna get something to eat?” he asks, his voice low through the buzz of the crowd.

“Yes please, just don’t blindly pick something this time?” you tease elbowing him. 

“Absolutely not!” he laughs, walking with you down to the cantina. Most people are heading there now, and you like being seen holding hands with him. As his mechanic, you’d been seen with him plenty, but not like this.

You get your food and sit down together in the crowded cantina. His right hand is busy with a fork, guiding food to his mouth, his left hand is gently resting on your thigh. He’s not teasing or squeezing. It’s just gently resting, he rubs his hand up and down a little, these small affectionate touches are going to kill you, you think.

It makes so much sense he’s like this. He goes all in, headfirst into everything. It makes sense now that you’re his – he’s showing it to you.

He is teasing you a little, if accidentally. But you suspect he knows. Because when his hand nears your upper thigh, it sends a shiver in between your legs and down to your toes. He sees the shiver out of the corner of his eye, and he smirks to himself.

“I knew it!” you hear a voice nearby, it’s a friend of Poe’s. A couple others stand nearby and exchange credits.

“Knew what?” you ask.

“How long it’d be before-“ he motions between the two of you. “We were waiting for Dameron to get his head out of the sky and do something,” he claps Poe on his shoulder. You flush, and Poe shakes his head with a shy smile.

You finish eating before him, he’s been busy chatting with you and friends who came to sit down with you. So, after you’re done and he’s finishing, you rest your head on his shoulder.

“Tired?” he murmurs, so only you can hear.

“A little. Not as tired as you are, I imagine!”

“Don’t fall asleep on me yet, sweetheart. I’ve got a surprise for you.” The pet name and the promise of surprise send a jolt right to your heart.

Just then, across the room, you see Corelle. Her eyes widen seeing your head on his shoulder, she gives you a look like “am I seeing what I think I’m seeing?”

You smile, and she gives you a big thumbs up. You can’t help but laugh.

“What is it?” Poe smiles hearing you laugh.

“My roommate, she’s been pushing me towards you since she knew about my crush.”

“You have a crush on me?” he teases and takes a bite of food, “that’s news to me.”

“Poe,” you laugh and sit up, playfully shoving his shoulder. He only chuckles fondly. He holds your gaze for a moment, his eyes soft. There’s that ever-present glint of the thrill, but his gaze is gentle. This is how he’s always looked at you. How are you just now seeing that this was a look of love? Were you so blind by your love for him that you didn’t realize he felt the same way back?

“You ready for your surprise now?” he pulls you from your thoughts, and you see his plate is clean.

“I don’t know, am I?” you raise an eyebrow in question.

“I guess we’ll see,” he grins and stands. He says goodbye to the people still eating and chatting. He takes your tray and stacks it on top of his to throw it out.

“You know,” he says taking your hand again. “I really do owe you.”

“For what?”

“Hearing that you love me, that was what was in my mind during the course of the mission. I had to get back to you. It was so strong. I’m only sorry I didn’t tell you how I felt before I left.”

“I suppose I knew too,” you lean into him, “Leia might have mentioned a few things.”

“She did?” he shakes his head.

“And well, your uh ‘remedy’ for my burnt finger was pretty telling.” His laugh is so loud it echoes down the hall. You’ve never seen him this happy before, and it’s all because of you. “Where are you taking me?”

“You’ll see!”

The path is familiar and it’s clear soon enough that he’s taking you out to the X-Wing.

“How is this a surprise? I’m too tired to check anything.”

“I am offended you would think that’s why I brought you out here,” he feigns being shocked. “I want to give you a flying lesson. You said when I got back,” he grins and grabs both of your hands pulling you towards the ship. His shoulders sway and he flows like he’s dancing.

“Poe, I don’t know.”

“We’re not going to actually fly right now. You have my word,” he touches his hand over his heart. “I’m only going to show you the controls inside. I’m not even going to power it up.”

“Ok,” you sigh, nodding.

“It’s ok to be scared,” he offers. “It’s a dangerous machine, you know that. It’s not a toy. I only want to ease your mind a little, if you’ll let me?”

“I trust you.”

“Good.” He turns and starts to climb into the cockpit. “You coming?” He calls once he’s down inside.

“Where am I supposed to sit?” you ask him climbing up the ladder and looking down at him in the cockpit. It’s such a small space.

“My lap,” he says so casually as if that’s the most obvious answer, he pats his thighs and you can’t deny yourself. His thighs have been something you’ve thought of often.

It takes some maneuvering, but you get settled on his lap. He’s sitting forward a little with you balancing on his legs. His arms reach around you to show you the controls. He picks up one of your hands and places it on top of his, “like this,” he tells you, his voice right behind your ear. His breath moves your hair by your ear, it tickles.

“Every ship is different, but they each run in a similar way. You just have to figure out what way works best.”

“Just like people,” you think.

“That’s right,” he smiles, “that’s right.”

“Do you really want me to learn how to fly?” you ask him. You know he said he wants to ease your mind, but you wonder if this is important to him somehow.

“I would never make you, not ever. Besides, with me around you’ll never have to fly,” he pinches your side making you giggle. “and you know what? The stars are just as beautiful right here,” he points up to the night sky.

He leans back a little, and your body goes with his. Your back resting against his chest. The air feels thicker now inside, there’s an electricity and it hits you hard. The way his hands feel have a heated feeling; it reminds you of how he touched your finger when it was burnt.

“You know,” he purrs in your ear, his hands moving up to clasp the zipper of your jumpsuit. “There are other ways I can show you the stars.”

Your breath and pulse begin to quicken as he lowers the zipper. Once it’s lowered enough, he slips his hand in and cups your breast through your undershirt inside the suit. You let out a choked groan and shudder against him, laying your head back on his shoulder. His hand burns through your shirt and you can feel him hardening against your ass.

“Poe,” you gasp out. His hand is kneading your flesh, and his other hand is blazing a trail to where you can only guess is between your legs. But you stop him. “Wait,” you sit upright.

“Too fast?” his voice is quiet in your ear.

All you can do is nod your head yes. It’s all happened so fast today. You hadn’t registered until this moment that being official with him now means the physical bonds would be forming soon. You’re not even sure how to tell him he’s going to be your first.

Thunder rumbles overhead, causing you both to look up to see clouds rolling in, covering the stars.

“Alright let’s go,” he starts to guide you up and out. “We don’t need to be in this thing and get struck by lightning.”

He pushes a button and the cockpit cover slides over to seal off the cabin from the rain once you’re both on the ground

It starts to rain heavily, and you can’t help but smile at the feeling.

“You’re beautiful,” Poe looks at you smiling in the rain.

“I could say the same to you.” His curls are starting to tighten from the water. They look perfect.

“Let’s get inside yeah? This thing is starting to itch,” he tugs at the collar of his flight suit. You wonder if that has anything to do with you.

Once inside the main hangar, you start your walk down to your rooms.

“I’m sorry about earlier,” you start.

“No, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have moved so fast.”

“I liked it,” you flush, “it’s just, I’ve never done this.” Your voice gets small. “I don’t know what I’m doing. I was embarrassed to tell you,” you say sheepishly. “Today when you kissed me-“

“That was your first kiss?” he groans and buries his face in his hands. “I’m an idiot,” he laughs.

You’re laughing now, feeling relieved. Seeing him flustered looks good on him, you think.

“You’re not,” you rub his shoulder, “that was the best first kiss I think I could have ever gotten.”

“Ok tell you what, go get some clothes to sleep in and come to my quarters tonight. To sleep.” He tacks on the last sentence when he sees a slight change in your expression.

“Oh,” you laugh just now seeing that you’re in front of the doorway to your room. You push the code and see Corelle sitting on her bed. When she sees Poe in the door, and you rifling through your drawer to get some sleep clothes, she has the biggest grin on her face.

“Sleepover huh?”

You turn to look at her, biting your lip.

“I want to hear everything!!” she whispers.

“You know I can hear you right?” Poe laughs, leaning now on the doorframe.

She only shrugs and gives you a wave when you head out.

“So, will we bother your roommate?”

“Don’t have one,” he replies punching his digit code when you reach his room. It makes sense you think, he’s a high-ranking member of the Resistance. He would have seniority with things of this nature. “BB-8 is my roommate,” he chuckles pointing to the droid in the corner. He’s powered down and charging.

“Make yourself at home, I’m going to get cleaned up, I’ll be quick.”

You sit down in a chair in front of a small desk. He opens a drawer and pulls out his own sleep clothes.

“Be right back,” he gives you a nod. His curls still wet, bounce as his head moves.

The refresher door in his room hisses behind him, and soon you hear running water. While he’s getting cleaned up, you get undressed quickly and put on your sleep clothes. It’s a standard issue pair of pants and comfortable shirt. It’s precautionary. The material while comfortable is durable in case of a quick evac.

Once you’ve changed, you sit down on the chair again and look around his room. His favorite leather jacket is draped over the back of the chair, and there’s a holopad on the desk. There’s a couple metal caf cups on the desk, one has caf still in it. There’s a shirt on the floor, and his helmet is near BB-8.

There’s something about being in his room that feels surreal but calming all at once.

Knowing he’s just on the other side of that door (naked) and wants you here with him.

You try not to think too much about him being naked in there because the reality of intimacy has your stomach flipping.

Then you hear something, pulling you from your thoughts. It’s his voice. At first you wonder if he’s talking to you, but then you realize he’s singing. He’s singing loudly, and voice is clear and beautiful. There’s almost a melancholy tone to it, but you can tell he’s happy. You are not familiar with the song, but it’s your new favorite one. You think you could listen to him sing forever.

The water shuts off, and he still hums. You can hear him moving around, what you guess is drying off and putting on his clothes.

The refresher door hisses loudly, and you jump a little, being in his room has you feeling all sorts of good jitters.

“Cold?” he asks, he’d seen you jump, mistaking it for a chill.

You try not to stare; you really do try. But he’s damp and shirtless and this is the most skin you’ve seen from him other than his shirts exposing his neck to you. He’s wearing the same sleep pants you are, but they look so much better on him. His skin is tan, his build is strong. There’s a small chain around his neck with a ring on it, and he has a towel draped over his shoulder to dry his hair. The curls are dripping water onto his back and shoulders. You’re staring.

“No,” you blush, “I was thinking about something and the door startled me.”

“You’re a bit skittish, aren’t you?” He smiles and grabs your head gently, planting a loud kiss on the top of your head. “I didn’t mean to scare you. I know I come on strong.”

You wave your hand, “don’t worry about it.” You like it.

He flops down casually on his bed. He looks like an absolute dream laying there. He’s propped up on his elbow looking at you.

“What’s the necklace?” you nod towards him. Immediately his fingers reach for it and he flips the ring over and over.

“My mother’s ring. She died when I was very young, I don’t remember much. One of the memories I do remember is when she gave me this. She told me to give it to someone who deserved it, deserved my love.”

“It’s beautiful,” you notice the shine of it, it looks new.

“It is,” he looks down at it, then drops it from his fingers, the chain catching it and it bounces against his chest. “c’mere,” he whispers and nods his head. He reaches his hand out for you and gets you situated in the bed next to him. You lay on your back while he’s propped up next to you.

“I’m nervous,” you whisper up at him.

“I can tell,” he smiles, but there’s concern on his face, “and I don’t want you to be. I want to make you feel good sweetheart. We’ll take one step at a time, just like the flying lesson. Sound good?”

“Yes,” you grin up at him and pull him down for a kiss. At first, it’s sweet kisses, but then you feel Poe’s tongue teasing your lips. Guessing what he wants, you part your lips for him and sigh at the new feeling. His tongue touches yours and you can’t help the giggle that bubbles up.

“You’re adorable,” Poe muses, your lips parting.

Feeling flustered, again, you cover your face with your hands, and you groan, “you’re making me blush.”

“Mm, sweetheart,” he laughs, “it’s not hard to do that. I’ve been making you blush since day one. Don’t think I haven’t seen. Even when you tried to hide it from me,” he whispers in your ear, kissing it then. “Still adorable.”

He’s positioned himself on top of you now, he’s burying his face in the crook of your neck. You wrap your arms around him and bury your fingers into his drying curls. He’s quiet, just breathing slowly. His breath fans against your skin.

“Is this real?” you whisper. “I’m afraid it’s a dream and I’m going to wake up.”

“Oh, I’m very real,” he murmurs into your neck. He shimmies down a little so that his head is resting on your chest, his ear over your heart. He can hear your pulse quicken, and he smiles to himself.

“Don’t say it,” you roll your eyes laughing, fully aware that your body is betraying you.

“Say what? That I just felt your heart rate spike?” He lifts his head and rests his chin on your sternum looking up at you. Your hands haven’t left his curls, you bring a hand down to cradle his face. He leans into your touch, and you rub your thumb along his stubbly cheek. You feel his dimple under your palm when he smiles up at you. “I think something…has you excited…” he trails off licking his lips. “or maybe a someone.”

“I wonder who it is?” you tease back. Now your thumb is rubbing along his bottom lip. Playfully growling, he play bites your thumb making you laugh.

He lets go of your thumb and closes his eyes; he loves the feeling of your fingers in his hair. He’s practically purring as your fingers scratch his scalp.

“It’s just,” you start to say, but you can’t find the words. His eyes open at the sound of your voice.

“What? We’ll wait as long as you need sweetheart.” He finishes the sentence with kissing your thumb.

“It’s not that. What if I’m not any good? You know? In bed?”

“Nonsense,” he lays his head back down on your chest, wrapping his arms around your body and squeezing.

“What if you’ve had better?”

“Well I’m not with them right, now am I? Don’t compare yourself. Don’t. Whatever we have is between you and me. No one else.”

“I’m still nervous for you to see me.”

“And I cannot wait to see you, but sweetheart, I’m happy to hold you right now. I’ve found a nice pillow.”

You snort out a laugh.

“Give me your hand,” you tell him.

He shifts sitting upright, “ok which one?”

“Right,” you tell him. And he extends his wrist towards you. His hand limp and his palm facing upwards. His eyebrow is raised in question wondering what you’re doing.

You turn his palm over and bring his hand down to your left breast. He cups the flesh in his hand, but he doesn’t move. He wants to so bad, but he’s waiting for you.

“Ok now give me your other hand.”

He repeats the same action and gives you his left. You put his hand on your right breast.

“Baby what are you doing? I said we don’t-“

“They may not be perfect, but I like how your hands feel.”

He gives an experimental squeeze, gauging your reaction. You gasp when he squeezes and the corner of his mouth lifts in a smirk. He starts to knead your breasts, digging his fingers in and massaging them. He can feel your nipples poke through your shirt into his palms.

“See, I think they are perfect.” He continues his ministrations. “Know why?” he questions, making sure you see his face.

“Why?” you whimper, it feels so good.

“Because when I do this-“ he pauses and pinches your nipples between his forefingers and thumbs. When he does, you arch your back and cry out. His chuckle is dark but playful, “you’ll do that.”

You’re feeling breathless, but you need more. You want the shirt off, you need to know what his hands feel like on bare skin.

“Poe,” your voice quivers, he’s still teasing your nipples through your shirt.

“Too much?” He pulls back, he doesn’t want to overdo it.

“Not enough,” you writhe a little under him. “If I take off my shirt, will you turn off the light?” you blush hard under his gaze. His smile is so fond, he lets out a soft laugh and lays his forehead down on your chest to hide his laugh. “Don’t laugh!” you laugh yourself knowing he means no harm.

“I can’t help it,” he lifts his head, his smile is huge, “you’re just so damn sweet. It’s killing me.” He gives you a quick kiss with a little hum before getting up to turn off the overhead light.

“You sure it’s not silly?” you look up at him walking back towards the bed in the dark. Your eyes are already starting to adjust.

“I can’t get enough,” he grins sitting upright beside you on the bed. “Who wouldn’t love this?”

“You’re so calm though, and I’m not.”

“Oh yeah?” He raises a brow and takes your hand in his. He puts your hand over his heart, and it’s beating as fast as yours. “I told you I always get the jitters before I fly.” He winks, the euphemism not lost on you.

You’re still laying on your back, his hands reach for the hem of your shirt. When his fingertips brush against the skin of your stomach, you start to giggle.

“Uh-oh, are you ticklish?” his voice is playful in the dark.

“Poe, no!” you squeal as he starts to shove his hands under your shirt and tickle your sides and tummy. He has you laughing so hard you forget you’re nervous and he pulls your shirt off quickly.

“Oh, you think you’re smooth, don’t you?”

“Hey that was pretty slick if I do say so myself sweetheart.”

Even in the dark you can see his eyes drink you in. Your heart pounds and your head pushes back into the pillow when he cups your breasts again, this time skin to skin.

“That feels so much better doesn’t it?” he asks kneading your flesh.

“So much,” you gasp. His hands do feel amazing. You’ve always loved his hands. They’re big and warm, smooth yet a little rough. But his touch is never aggressive. Now though that he’s squeezing you, his touch is firm.

“Can I try something?” he looks at you for an answer.

You nod, still whimpering under his touch. Your whimpers turn into a soft cry when he lowers his head to your breast and closes his lips around your nipple. He sucks gently and teases you with his tongue. You feel slick between your thighs, you have for a while now, but you’re soaked through.

“Poe,” you whine and start to rub yourself along his thigh nestled between your legs, “touch me please. Oh. OH. Please!” you’re gasp trying to find relief of the building pressure.

Without removing his mouth, he lowers a hand down the waistband of your pants and underwear. His middle finger touches your clit and you cry out, finally feeling a wave of relief. He circles your clit with his finger in time with how his tongue tweaks your nipple, his other finger teasing your other nipple. Your cries let him know you’re close and he quickens the pace of his fingers. You let out a ragged gasp when you come, and you become silent as your chest heaves. You’re probably pulling on his hair too harshly, but he hasn’t complained.

“Good girl,” he praises, pulling away from your breast. His mouth goes to your neck to kiss. “You did so good.”

“Poe, I-“

“Breathe baby,” he smiles, “breathe.”

“You feel so good,” you sigh, your body limp.

“Hmm, thank you,” he teases, kissing your cheek. “Funny, I was going to say the same about you.”

You wriggle around under him, the sticky between your legs is starting to feel uncomfortable. Sensing this, Poe sits up.

“Go get cleaned up,” he smooths your hair out of your face. “Normally I’d do that for you.” But he’s going to let you have your privacy in this moment. “There’s clean rags in the closest.”

Blushing hard, you disappear into the refresher to clean yourself up with the rag. You don’t take long because you feel like you should make him feel good too, even though you have no idea what to do.

The refresher light seems so bright and seeing yourself topless in his mirror has you flushing again. Your lips are swollen from his kisses, your hair is a mess.

Once you’re clean, you’re feeling all giddy from your high. You’re about to jump back into bed when you hear a soft snoring. At first you think he’s faking; he’s got such a funny sense of humor it seems like him.

“Poe?” you whisper.

“Hmm?” he mumbles out, his eyes twitching. He’s laying on his stomach.

“I’m getting back in bed,” you tell him.

“Ok,” he smacks his lips and nods his head.

You do your best and slide under the covers. You’re on your back, and you grab his arm, placing it across your middle. His arm wraps around you, his forearm just under your breasts. In his sleepy state, he nuzzles his face into your neck. You rub your hands along his skin, feeling the hair on his arm.

The poor thing, you think. He’s had a long couple of days. You’re not even sure when he last slept after that long mission. It warms your heart he stayed up with you as late as he did tonight.

You finally have a restful sleep. You’re not worried for his safety, because he’s in your arms right now, you can feel his body move with each breath. There’s no more worrying about admitting how you feel because if there was, you wouldn’t be in this bed. It is a restful sleep, finally. Finally.

Until the next morning when you both wake to an alarm blaring. Poe bolts upright and you jump – you’d forgotten where you were. He leaps out of bed and wakes BB-8.

“Get dressed,” he tells you and throws you your clothes. You barely register that you’re half naked and exposed to him in the light, but you’re panicking from this alarm.

“What’s going on?” you’re scared.

“That’s the evacuation alarm,” he says while he pulls on his pants. He grabs that shirt off the floor and tugs it on. Then he goes for his flight suit, pulling it on over his clothes. “here,” he takes his leather jacket off the back of the chair and hands it to you. “Hold onto this for me will ya?”

Once you’re dressed, you put his jacket on over your work jumpsuit. It makes you feel safer somehow, it smells like him.

He opens his door, and there’s already people running to their stations to evacuate. Poe motions for BB-8, they’ll head to the X-Wing.

“Where do I go?” you know the protocol, but in the moment your mind is muddled, and panic has set in.

“Hey,” he cups your face in his hands, “breathe baby. Go find Leia. Get on a transport out of here. I gotta go do my thing, but I will find you. I will find you.” He kisses your lips and then your forehead.

At least you can be with him until you get to the hangar. But then you have to split up. You fight back tears, you just got him and now you have to leave him again. You just want this all to be over.

You get on the transport and anxiety floods your veins. You don’t want to be off the ground. You know you have to do this, but there’s still that fear that always comes with being in a ship out in space. You don’t feel safe. You want nothing more than for Poe to be here with you, to help you through this. You think back to what he said that he’s always nervous before he goes up, you just never found out what it is that calms him.

Wait.

Of course, you know what it is that makes him calm. It’s you.

You’re the good luck charm, and he’s yours. Your fingers touch the worn leather of the jacket you’re wearing, you know now why he gave it to you to wear. To remind you he’s still with you. Tightening the jacket around yourself when the ship takes off into the atmosphere keeps you calm.

There’s a battle of enemy ships outside the window. Soon you’re far enough away they are too small to make out what’s happening, but you know he’s in the thick of it. There’s nothing for you to do now except watch out the window. No assignments have been given, and most people who have jobs to do are doing it. There’s nothing you can do but watch and hope that he stays safe.

When the short-lived battle ends, you watch for that familiar X-Wing to fly into the hangar of the transport. You make your way towards that hangar to greet him. You see Corelle nearby and a few other mechanics in the area waiting for their respective pilots to return.

As soon as Poe lands, he jumps out of the ship, BB-8 right behind him. He runs to greet you at the doorway, but a First Order ship fires into the hangar, setting off an explosion. The force of the blast sends Poe and BB-8 forward, Poe’s body knocks you backwards. Everyone that was inside the hangar was lost, including Corelle.

Poe groans getting off you, apologizing profusely and checking your face to see if you’re alright.

“Corelle was in there,” you cry, looking through the doorway and seeing the wreckage. You start to try to get up, Poe stops you. Smoke billows and flames are everywhere. Even Poe’s X-Wing has been completely destroyed. “Your ship!” shock taking over.

“Hey, look at me,” he cups your face, “I don’t care about the ship, are you alright?”

You feel a pain in your side, then you feel dizzy. Poe calls your name, but he sounds far away and looks blurry. The last thing you see before you blackout is Poe’s face, panic written all over his expression.

For the next few days, you slip in and out of consciousness. There are moments you can remember in little flashes.

You remember Poe coming to check on you. His voice a gentle whisper asking if you’re alright. Another time, his voice cracks asking for an update.

You remember feeling Poe’s hand holding yours, feeling the press of his lips to your forehead.

You remember hearing someone say, “the war is almost over, it’ll be over soon.”

And they would be right. The war is almost over. While you’ve been out the past couple days, the Resistance has found allies across the galaxy to gather for one last battle. Poe hated to leave you, but he knew you were in safe hands and he has a duty to fulfill. He had to fight for you out there, while you fought for your life here at the new base.

When you finally came to after a few days under, Poe is sitting next to you in med bay. He’s asleep. His leather jacket draping over his torso as a makeshift blanket. He’s resting his cheek on his fist; his other hand is holding yours.

“Poe,” you whisper. You have no idea what time it is, and you feel disoriented. But one thing’s for sure is he looks so cute when he’s asleep. It feels like a lifetime ago when you were cuddled up with him in his bed, when really it was only just last week. “Poe?”

“I’m awake!” he jerks up with a sniff and a grunt. When his tired eyes land on you, he blinks softly as a soft grin turns into a full-blown smile, “hi sweetheart.”

“Hi,” you answer back. As you get your bearings, you feel a soreness in your side. You wince when you sit up, and Poe is quick to help you adjust in the bed.

“Easy, you got hit pretty bad.”

“What happened?” you try to remember but all you remember is the explosion, Poe falling on top of you and Corelle.

Corelle.

Tears begin to well up in your eyes. You think of the other friends you lost that day, that it could have been Poe if he hadn’t gotten out when he did.

“Hey, shhh,” he dries your tears and kisses your forehead, “you’re safe. You got hit with some debris. Knocked you out for a couple days.”

“General?” you hear a nurse approach you and Poe when she sees you’re awake. “Sorry to interrupt but I’d like to check her vitals now that she’s awake.”

“Of course,” Poe nods and stands, moving out of her way.

“How are you feeling?” she asks you, but you’re trying to process what you think you just heard. General? What did you miss?

“I’m a little tender still, I feel a little out of it.”

“Those are common side effects from the bacta spray. With some rest you’ll be good as new very soon,” she smiles and enters something in her holopad. “I’ll be back later to check on you alright?”

She nods at you and then Poe thanks her again.

“General?” is the first word out of your mouth as soon as she’s gone. “What?”

“I was…. promoted,” he nods his head, his eyes look sad. “We lost Leia. She named me general before she-“ his shoulders slump.

Rank has always been important to Poe. He wants to succeed. But in reaching the top, it meant sacrifice. And this was a loss he wasn’t ready to lose.

“Are you okay?” you ask sitting up, his hand hasn’t left yours and you squeeze.

“I’ll be alright,” he nods. You’re safe and that’s what matters now to him. “Especially now that it’s over.”

“It’s over? Like over, over?” your frown turns to a bright smile. Can it really be over?

“It’s over,” he grins.

“I can’t believe it!” you laugh sitting up slowly. When you pull your hand from his, you see a familiar ring on your finger. “Is this what I think it is?” you ask holding your hand up to look at the ring.

“It is,” he clears his throat, his fingers running through his hair.

“Don’t tell me I missed the wedding too?”

Poe throws his head back laughing, “no, no. I thought I’d wait for you to be awake for that one.”

Over the next few days while you heal, Poe wraps things up on the new base. Now that the fight is over, life will begin to trickle back to the new normal without the First Order. Poe oversees the transitions as general. He appointed Finn co-general so the weight can be distributed.

Now is the perfect time for it, because Poe has other things on his mind. 

There’s a buzz all over the base now, people wondering when your wedding will be. There’s already been 4 in the last week. The relief of the war is getting to everyone in such a positive manner.

You spend a day or two extra recovering. Since the piece of metal that hit you had nicked a couple organs, you had major surgery. You had to have time to heal. You were given strict orders for ‘no strenuous activity’ for a couple weeks at least. Poe found this very amusing, but also disappointing.

You’re just as disappointed as him. You have his ring on your finger, all that’s left is to seal the deal officially.

While you heal and Poe gets affairs in order, you spend a lot of time in his quarters now on this new base. In his bed and in his arms is your favorite place to be.

It’s harder on you than him to wait a few days more before you can be intimate. The press of his body against yours at night has you aching in your heart and between your legs. But you can’t complain, his arms and his kisses sustain you plenty.

You spend hours in each other’s arms, kissing until you’re sleepy. He’s a skilled kisser. Skilled as in, he’s quick to figure out what you like and what you don’t.

How he’s this patient with you, you’ll never know. But he would never forgive himself if you were hurt because he couldn’t wait a couple days for sex. He already feels guilt from not protecting you from the hunk of metal hitting your body. His body was blocking yours but still managed to hit you and not him.

He’s currently kissing your neck, with you under him. They aren’t heated kisses, they’re soft and tender. Dragging his lips along the column of your neck, throwing in little nibbles.

“How are you feeling?” he murmurs been kisses. “Answer me honestly.”

“I feel good. Tomorrow is when they said it would be ok for ‘activity.’”

“Let’s get married tomorrow then,” he whispers kissing under your ear.

“Okay,” you giggle wrapping your arms around him tight.

So, you do. You get one last approval from med bay that you’re safe for ‘activities.’ Poe leaves you to that and he disappears, he tells you before he leaves to meet him in hangar 4.

Your time as a mechanic meant that you didn’t have pretty clothes. Everything you owned was either for working or sleeping. But now that there is more order, you managed to get your hands on a dress to wear. You can’t even remember the last time you wore a dress. Poe certainly hasn’t seen you one in your months of being together.

So, before you meet him, you put on your dress. It’s flowy and elegant and accentuates all your curves in the right places. You do the final touches of your hair looking in his mirror. You know he’ll be so surprised to see you like this.

You walk alone to the hangar, and it’s noticeably quiet. There’s a tremor in your hands, and your knees quake with each step as you walk closer. This is really happening. You only wish Corelle was here to see it.

When you reach the hangar and walk inside, you gasp. The entire base is here. Cheers erupt when you walk in, and you flush under the attention. Poe is standing at the opposite end; the crowd has to part so you can walk down to him.

He looks so handsome, the smile on his face is pouring out of him. His eyes are bright. His hair is somewhat tame, which makes you smile, meaning he had to put effort into taming it. He’s wearing a nice jacket you’ve never seen before, it’s black and clean. He looks wonderful.

He’s thinking the same about you, your smile is radiant, and it knocked the breath out of him to see you in that dress.

When you get closer to him, he reaches his hand out for you to take. There’s a slight shake to his hand too.

“You ready?” he whispers, thumb rubbing over the back of your hand.

Your smile is so big that tears begin to well up in your eyes, “yes,” you whisper back.

The ceremony is very short, and you leap into his arms to kiss him. His hand is strong on your back, and his fist shoots up in the air in a celebration. The audience cheers, and BB-8 nearby beeps happily.

“Happy beeps, that’s right buddy,” Poe laughs hearing his droid over the crowd. “Happy beeps,” he says to you, that smile still in his eyes.

Poe sets you down and the party begins. But the two of you make your exit for his – your quarters.

Taking your hand, you’re both giggling making your ‘escape’ to your quarters. The moment the door opens, he’s on you. His hands on your hips, and his lips on yours. His tamed hair has your hands in it now, messing it up and setting the curls loose. You push his jacket off as he pushes you up against a wall.

His hands are quick, he’s careful to pull on your dress to take it off without damaging it. You all but yank his shirt off his body. Your dress is pooled now at your feet, the only thing keeping you from total nudity is a pair of underwear.

You reach for Poe’s belt, but your hands start to shake a little. His hands clutch yours, and he glances up at you.

“Hey,” he leans in and steals a quick kiss, “it’s ok. It’s just me.” He unbuckles his belt and tugs his own pants off, leaving him in shorts that are tightening around his bulge. You look down at him, and back up to his face quickly, your eyes wide and face hot. His smirk is playful, he likes seeing you check out his body.

Grabbing your hips, he starts to back you up against the bed. His hand cradles the back of your neck as he lays you down. He looks down at you and grins, and his feet slip, and he almost falls on top of you, making you both laugh. He cups your face and kisses you all over, you haven’t stopped laughing.

“Hey, I remember these,” he muses when he reaches down to cup your breasts. You cry out and he only laughs, he’s proud of himself.

“Poe, I swear,” you groan when he thumbs over your nipples.

“You’ll what?” he challenges, raising his eyebrow. He tweaks your nipples and your cry is weak escaping your lips.

With some sense in your head, you reach down in between you and cup his length through his shorts. He lets out a choked groan, “ok well played,” he rasps out and pushes your hand away.

His hands wander down to your stomach, and he finds that scar above your hip. He traces over it with his thumb, looking up at you – you know what that look means. He’s glad you’re alive. That scar will always be a reminder.

He doesn’t linger on the thought, instead he fingers dance along your underwear.

“Can I?” he asks hooking his fingers in the band. He waits for you to nod before he pulls them down your legs exposing you to him. You wriggle a little unnerved at him seeing you, his hands steady your hips and he looks up at your face. “It’s ok,” he smiles again. “I’ve already been down here remember?” he winks.

You’re slick already from the excitement, so when he teases a finger at your entrance it slides in easily. His thumb teases your clit until you’re ready to take another finger. His thumb brushes back and forth, while his fingers pump in and out. Quick precise pilot hands are working you over and that thought alone brings you close to the edge.

“One more,” he coos and adds a third finger. It’s a tight squeeze but his thumb is getting you to relax. When he curls his fingers deep inside, you groan louder than you had before. “There it is,” he grins and leans down to kiss your cheek. “You’re doing so good sweetheart, so so good.”

When your orgasm hits you, your mouth falls open and no sound comes but ragged breaths.

“Come on,” he coos working you through the last few waves of it. You groan loudly when you come down, and he’s pleased, “that’s it baby. Let me hear you.” 

While you catch your breath, he stands to slip off his shorts that are uncomfortable now. You glance down to see him, he’s hard. His hand lazily pumps himself a couple times, and you swallow down a gulp of nerves. He’s bigger than you anticipated.

Crawling back on the bed, he hovers over you. He wears the chain around his neck still even though there’s no ring on it, and this chain while dangling, touches along your chest. He situates himself between your legs, pulling your legs up and around his waist. You can feel his tip at your entrance, and he waits for you to breathe before he guides himself inside.

He moves slowly, it’s a pinch at first. It’s a snug fit but the feeling of being full feels wonderful. He breathes out himself, trying to stay still. One little thrust from his hips could hurt if you’re not ready. When he feels you relax, he starts to move.

His thrusts are quick and precise at first, his kisses are hot, and his mouth drags along your skin. Your fingers never leave his curls. His mouth focuses on a nipple for awhile as he thrusts, only adding to your pleasure. His body rubs along your clit perfectly, bringing on another orgasm.

That’s when his thrusts become sloppy. He grunts and sits up, bringing you with him. You’re sitting on his thighs and he buries his face in your breasts. His stubble scrapes along sensitive skin. The new position pushes him deeper inside, and another orgasm follows close behind the one you just had. You hold his head to your breast and throw your head back while his body moves. He stops suddenly and groans when his cock jumps inside you, spilling himself in you.

“Oh,” is all you can say, whimpering as you still pulse around him as he softens inside of you.

“Mhmm,” he hums, his eyes heavy from the intense pleasure.

“Just like flying right?” you laugh.

“Oh yeah,” he laughs back, “ push some buttons, toggle some controls, move the stick around…just like flying.”

“Stop,” you laugh at his terrible analogy.

“You saw some stars, though didn’t you?” he winks.

He’s not wrong there.

“Tomorrow,” you tell him.

“Tomorrow what?” he replies, slipping out of your heat.

“I’ll let you take me up flying, for real. Just not in the X-Wing.”

“Really?” he’s excited now. He jumps up and goes in the refresher to get a rag to clean you. You stare at his bare ass as he moves, and it’s even more perfect than you had imagined.

“Yes really,” you laugh when he comes back.

He turns around and looks behind him when he gets back on the bed, “is there something behind me?”

When your cheeks darken, he tuts.

“Checkin’ out my ass huh?”

“Poe, honestly,” you laugh shoving his chest while he starts to clean your thighs, “how can you be so sweet but such an-“

“Ass?”

“I really hate you,” you laugh, “and all your bad jokes.”

“That’s hurtful.”

You spent the rest of the night laughing at more bad jokes and tangled up in his arms. And he took you flying that next morning.

It’s a small spacecraft, room enough for the both of you to sit comfortably. It takes a lot of coaxing and kisses before you’re comfortable going in the ship, but he never leaves your side. His jacket is around your shoulders, and his hand is in yours.

He sits in the pilot seat and flicks on all the controls, makes some jokes, and soon you are up in the air and going into space.

He tells you what to do to make the jump to light speed, and you follow his instructions perfectly.

“I don’t want to look out the window,” you say suddenly. The bright blue streaks of stars fill the view from the window, and it makes you feel dizzy.

“C’mere,” he pats his lap. Facing him, you straddle his lap and curl into his arms. At first you thought, hoped, he wanted you to ride his thigh (which you will later) but for now you enjoy the comfort of your husband’s arms and chest.

-FIVE YEARS LATER-

The Resistance has faded into a normal better life in the galaxy. Poe still holds the title of General. You’re not actually 100% about that? But you plan on calling him that for the rest of your lives. He likes it when you use it bed.

You’ve made a home for yourselves back on Poe’s home world of Yavin IV. You still work as a mechanic, and Poe flies when he can.

But now that you have the new baby, your lives have been turned upside down.

“When do you think I’ll be able to take her up to fly with me?” Poe’s carrying her in his arms, walking towards you. You’re outside oiling the X-Wing.

“Poe, she’s three months old!” you shake your head and pull him in for a kiss. Your fingers pet his beard and he kisses you once more.

“My mom took me up when I was 6!” he argues and starts to press kisses on his baby’s face.

“I’m just not comfortable with you taking little Corelle up yet. But I am going to let you teach her to fly.”

“I’ll teach her on this old thing,” he pats on his X-Wing. “It’s were you were conceived!” he tells her.

“Poe!” you smack his thigh with your work rag.

“Well she was, if you recall.”

“Oh, I recall,” you feel your neck flush. “When you teach her to fly just don’t tell her that, please.”

You kiss your daughters little head and then Poe’s bristly cheek. Then you kneel to get back to work.

“You’ll teach her mechanics too,” Poe muses watching you, “she’ll be able to build her own ships and then fly ‘em!” He bounces her on his hip. He starts to hum a song; one you’ve not heard in years.

“That song!” you gasp. The memory comes flooding back. “I don’t think I’ve heard you sing that since…”

“Since?” Poe stops his humming to look up at you.

“I remember you singing it in the refresher that night, the first night I stayed with you.”

“I can’t believe you remember that!” his smile is fond.

“Of course, I do, I remember everything about that night! One of the best nights of my life.”

“Yeah, I was pretty great wasn’t I?” He laughs earning him another smack on his leg. You turn away from him then ‘ignoring him’ but it’s not working, because he won’t be ignored, and you’re not really mad. Poe clears his throat, he’s checking out your ass as you work, “do you think BB-8 can babysit?”

You turn around and lower your goggles, looking at him.

“What are you going to tell him exactly?”

“The truth? What? It’s not like he doesn’t know.”

“Well I don’t want him to know that’s what we’re doing out here!” you’re standing now, laughing. Poe’s right next to you kissing your neck. He nuzzles his beard against your skin.

“I’ll tell him…. we’re going on a flight. See some stars.”

“Ok fine, General Dameron. Show me the stars.”

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first Poe fic so feedback is appreciated!


End file.
